Cracked EngineersWanted

You're not just full-stack, you're FULL-SEND. You seamlessly jump between Next.js frontends and TypeScript/Bun backends. You ship features before product even finishes the spec. Your vim config is a work of art, your Claude suggestions are always on point, and you've memorized every Cursor shortcut. You write code at 3am because you can't sleep until that feature is live. We need someone who thinks deployment pipelines are too slow and considers 'git push --force' a valid debugging technique.

You don't just design interfaces, you conjure experiences from the ether. Your Figma files are organized like a military operation, your prototypes are indistinguishable from production, and you've already tested 15 variations before the PM finishes their coffee. You use AI to generate design ideas at superhuman speed. If you've ever made a button so satisfying to click that users press it just for fun, we need to talk.

You speak fluent Claude, and probably three other LLMs we haven't heard of yet. You've fine-tuned models in your sleep and consider prompt engineering an art form. You ship AI features that make users think we have a team of 1000. Your Claude workspace has more threads than Twitter. If you've ever made an AI do something it wasn't supposed to be able to do, you're our kind of chaos.

You see growth metrics in your dreams. A/B tests are your love language. You've grown products from 0 to 1M users with nothing but clever hacks and pure determination. You ship experiments faster than scientists at CERN. Your SQL queries are works of art, your dashboards tell stories, and you've definitely automated something that wasn't meant to be automated. Vim users get priority interviews.

You deploy to production 50 times a day and sleep soundly at night. Your terraform files are poetry, your k8s configs are symphonies, and you've never met a bottleneck you couldn't optimize. You use AI to write infrastructure-as-code faster than others can spell 'kubernetes'. If you've ever made a system 10x faster just because it annoyed you that it was slow, we want you on our team.

We need someone who breaks things professionally. You're the person who tries to login with emojis, uploads 10GB profile pictures, and clicks buttons 1000 times just to see what happens. You ship bug reports faster than most people ship features. Your Claude/Cursor is always open, writing test scripts that would make a robot cry. Bonus points if you've ever crashed production and lived to tell the tale.

Master of distributed systems and microservices architecture. You'll work with our TypeScript/Bun monorepo, Node.js services, and Rust microservices. You dream in Redis patterns, optimize Postgres queries for fun, and can debate MySQL vs MongoDB trade-offs all day. You ship scalable solutions on AWS that handle millions of creator profiles. If you've ever written a database migration at 3am and enjoyed it, we need to talk.

You craft pixel-perfect experiences in Next.js that make designers weep with joy. Your React components are so clean they could be in a museum. You understand that performance isn't optional when 400M+ users visit our profiles. You use Claude to generate UI variants faster than designers can sketch them. If you've ever spent an hour perfecting a 100ms animation, you're our kind of obsessive.

Swift is your first language, and you speak it fluently. You build native iOS experiences that feel like magic. Your code is so clean it makes Apple's guidelines look sloppy. You ship features that make Android users jealous. You know every Xcode shortcut and use Claude to write boilerplate while you focus on the hard problems. If you've ever reverse-engineered an iOS animation just to understand it better, let's talk.

You write Kotlin that would make Google engineers jealous. Your apps run smooth as butter on devices from 2015. You understand Material Design better than its creators. You ship features so fast, iOS users complain about feature parity. Your Android Studio is more customized than a street racer. If you've ever optimized an app to run on a potato and succeeded, you belong here.